(capo 2ª casa)

(intro)   C

C       G         Am      Em
I like glitter and sparkly dresses.
F
But I'm not gonna talk about that
G
in my monologue.
C       G       Am              Em
I like baking and things that smell like winter.
F
But I'm not gonna talk about that
G
in my monologue.

C
La la la. La la la.

C                G        Am               Em
I like writing songs about douchebags who cheat on me.
F
But I'm not gonna say that
G
in my monologue.

           C                       G                 Am          Em
I like writing their names into songs so they're ashamed to go in public.
F
But I'm not gonna say that
G
in my monologue.

( C )

C   G  Am    G     F               G
La la. La la la la la. This is my musical monologue.

C            G                    Am                  Em
You might think I'd bring up Joe, that guy who broke up with me on the phone.
F
But I'm not gonna mention him,
G
in my monologue.

C
Hey Joe, I'm doing real well!
G             Am       Em
Tonight I'm hosting 'SNL.'
F
But I'm gonna brag about that
G
in my monologue.

C
La la la. Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. La la la.
C                               G                      Am        Em
And if you're wondering if I might be dating the werewolf from 'Twilight.'
[ "Hi Taylor," pisca e manda beijo.]
F
I'm not gonna comment on that
G
in my monologue.

C   G  Am    G     F               G
La la. La la la la la. This is my musical monologue.

( Am )

Am                                   Em
You might be expecting me to say something bad about Kanye
    F
and how he ran up on the stage and ruined my VMA monologue.
C            G                  Am       G          F
But there's nothing more to say cuz everything's OK.
                             F
I've got security lining the stage.

It's my 'SNL' monologue.
C   G  Am    G    F                 G
La la. La la la la la. This is my 'SNL' monologue.
C   G  Am    G     F              G
La la. La la la la la. That was my 'SNL' monologue.